Marauders Read Order Of The Pheonix
by UmaChanxo
Summary: WHAT? SLAPS JAMES Marauders read Order of the pheonix! Read and review this hilarious fic!
1. Let's read the 5th book to the set!

**_The Marauders read Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!!!!!!!!_**

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James: Okay, let's read this one now!

Sirius: Okay James but...

Lupin: You ready?

All: Yep!

**The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that...**

James: This is boring Yawn let's skip to let's say, half way through the book...

Lupin: OR we could just skip to the next PAGE

James: Fair enough

**Lupin skips to page 12**

"**We're not stupid you know" Said Uncle Vernon. **

"**Well _that's _news to me," said Harry, his temper rising, and before the Durleys could call him back, he had wheeled about, crossed the front lawn, stepped over the low garden wall and was striding up the street.**

Sirius: That kid's temper is ALWAYS rising.

James: HEY! That's my son you're talking about!

Peter: Lily would NEVER go out with you Prongs.

James: Smacks Peter

Lupin: Let's continue...

James: Steals book from Lupin I'll read!

**James skips to chapter 4**

"**What's the Order of the -?" Harry Began.**

"**Not here, boy!" Snarled Moody. "Wait till we're inside!" He pulled the piece of parchment out of Harry's hand and set fire to it with his wand tip. As the message curled into flames and floated to the ground, Harry looked around the houses again. They were standing outside number eleven; he looked to the left and saw number ten; to the right, however, was number thirteen. **

Sirius and James: Where's...

"**But where's –?"**

"**Think about what you've just memorized, Said Lupin quietly. Harry thought, and no sooner had he reached the part about number twelve, Grimmauld Place, than a battered door emerged out of nowhere between numbers eleven and thirteen, followed by dirty walls and grimy windows. It was as though an extra house had inflated, pushing those on either side out of its way. Harry gaped at it. The stereo in number eleven thudded on. Apparently the muggles inside hadn't felt a thing.**

**  
**Peter: How come Muggles are so stupid?

James: I don't know, ask one

Sirius: Shut up the both of you

Lupin:Rolls eyes

**James skipped to page 63**

"**Maybe he thinks I can't be trusted**

Sirius: Of course he can't! He's James's kid!

James: Smacks Sirius

**Said Harry watching their expressions. "Don't be thick," Said Ron, looking highly disconcerted. "Or that I can't take care of myself"**

"**Of course he doesn't think that!" Said Hermione anxiously. "So how come I have to stay at the Dursleys' while you two get to join in everything that's going on here?" Said Harry, the words tumbling over one another in a rush, his voice growing louder with every word. "How come you two are allowed to know everything that's going on?"**

"**We're not!" Ron interrupted. "Mum won't let us near the meetings, she says we're too young –"But before he knew it Harry was shouting.**

Sirius: Spaz

James: Tackles Sirius

Lupin: Picks up book and begins to read

"**SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE MEETINGS, BIG DEAL! YOU'VE STILL BEEN HERE, HAVN'T YOU? YOU'VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER! ME, I'VE BEEN STUCK AT THE DURSLEYS' FOR A MONTH! AND I'VE HANDLED MORE THAN YOU TWO'VE EVER MANAGED AND DUMBLEDORE KNOWS IT – WHO SAVED THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE?**

Sirius: You master

James: Still pinning Sirius to the floor Shut up

**WHO GOT RID OF RIDDLE?**

Sirius: You Master, you know that sounds funny, and Prongs your breath STINKS!

James: STILL Pinning Sirius down Thanks I- wait! HEY!

**WHO SAVED BOTH YOUR SKINS FROM THE DEMENTORS?**

**Every bitter and resentful thought Harry had in the past...**

James: Skip to the best part Moony!

Lupin: Yes Sir!

Sirius: You read this before?

James: No, just bits and pieces

Sirius: Let go of me!

James: Letting Sirius go Yes mate!

Jenn: Walks into the room Hey guys!

Everyone: Hey Jenn

James: Hey Sirius, you're girlfriends here.

Sirius: Come sit over here

Jenn: Okay Sits next to Sirius

Lupin: We are reading a book Jenn, want to listen?

Jenn: Sure

**James skips to page 424**

"**Oh Sirius, I'm so grateful ... they think he'll be there a little while and it would be wonderful to be nearer ... of course, that might mean we're here for Christmas." Mrs. Weasley said.**

"**The more the merrier!" Said Sirius with such obvious sincerity that Mrs. Weasley beamed at him, threw an apron on and began to help with breakfast.**

"**Sirius" Harry muttered, unable to stand it a moment longer. "Can I have a quick word? Er – _now?" _**

James: He sure does like you Sirius

Sirius: Well, what can I say? I'm just a brilliant Godfather

James: Cough Cough

Sirius: What was that for?

James: Oh nothing

Jenn: James you're so weird sometimes

James: Yes, if only Lily would go out with me...

Sirius: Smacks James Get over it, you must if this is true

James: Well yah...

Lupin: Shall we continue?

**He walked into the dark pantry and Sirius followed. Without preamble, Harry told his Godfather every detail of the vision he had, including the fact that he himself was the snake who had attacked Mr. Weasley.**

Jenn: Doesn't hide anything from you does he Siri?

Sirius: Well what can I say?

James: How come you get to be so near him? I'm his father! Pouts

Sirius: Hey, you're dead

James: Humph!

**When he paused for a breath, Sirius said, "Did you tell Dumbledore this?" **

Jenn: Why wouldn't he?

Sirius: He's James's son

James: HEY! Smacks Sirius

"**Yes," Harry said impatiently, "But he didn't tell me what it meant. Well, he doesn't tell me anything any more." **

"**I'm sure he would have told you if it was anything to worry about," Said Sirius steadily. **

James: My son should get mental help.

Jenn: JAMES!

James: What?

Jenn: You're so mean!

James: Kisses Jenn Really?

Sirius: Smacks James How dare you?! You did that on purpose!

James: What can I say?

Sirius: Tackles James

Lupin: Rolls eyes

"**But that's not all," Said Harry,**

Sirius: WHAT ELSE COULD THAT CHILD HAVE WRONG WITH HIM?

Lupin: James get off of Sirius, it doesn't look right

James: Says playfully Aw Do I HAVE to?

Lupin: Okay, when do you want your wedding?

James: Gets off Sirius and tackles Lupin

Peter: There's something we don't know about James yet

James: Tackles Peter

Everyone except James: Rolls eyes

**In a voice only a little above a whisper. "Sirius, I ... I think I'm going mad...**

Sirius: Of course you're going mad!  
James: Tackles Sirius

Peter: Sirius, did you give him that pop?

Sirius: well....

James: Spell wears off SIRIUS! Tackles Sirius

Sirius: Apparently he doesn't even NEED that pop

Jenn: I'll read

**Back in Dumbledore's office, Just before we took the Portkey ... For a couple of seconds there I thought I was a snake, I _felt _like one – My scar really hurt when I was looking at Dumbledore – Sirius I wanted to attack him!"**

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_**hehe Go to the next chapter!! And reveiw!! PLEASE!!!**_


	2. SPAZ!

_**I'm back with another chapter! Actually I never left...hehe... well this story is finished... also I'm writing The Dark Side... I haven't updated in forever. I have about 7 Long chapters done... just not posted!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter obviously!

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**_

Sirius: That's it we give up!

Jenn: Would you too get up and sit down Points at Sirius and James

James: FINE!

Sirius: Anything for you dear

Jenn: Slaps Sirius

Sirius: What was that for?!

James: She doesn't like you Sirius

Jenn: Slaps James Then why would I do this? Kisses Sirius

Sirius: WHOA!

James: Pouts

**He could only see a sliver of Sirius's face; the rest was in darkness. **

"**It must have been the aftermath of the vision that's all," Said Sirius. "You were still thinking of the dream or whatever it was and..."**

"**It wasn't that," Said Harry, shaking his head, "It was like something rose up inside me, like there's a _snake_ inside me."**

Lupin: He's mental

Sirius: Since when do YOU call people mental?

James: Smacks then both

Sirius/Lupin: HEY!

"**You need to sleep," said Sirius firmly. "You're going to have breakfast, then go upstairs to bed, and after lunch you can go see Arthur with the others. You're in shock Harry; you're blaming yourself for something you only witnessed, and it's lucky you _did_ witness it or Arthur might have died. Just stop worrying." He clapped Harry on the shoulder and left the pantry, leaving Harry standing alone in the dark.**

James: Sirius, when this happens in real life, do me a favor and hug him for me.

Sirius: Yes mate!

James: Hug him A LOT tell him I miss him

Sirius: You're not dead yet

James: So

Sirius: I'm going to read!

**Sirius skips to page 710**

Lupin: SIRIUS!

Sirius: What?

James: Shut up Moony!

Lupin: Yes ma'am ... I mean sir

James: Smacks Sirius

Sirius: WHAT DID I DO? Smacks Lupin

Lupin: HEY!

**Only a pair was still battling m apparently unaware of the new arrival. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: He was laughing at her. "Come on you can do better than that!" He yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.**

**The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.**

**The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.**

Sirius: Glares at book WHAT?!  
James: What's up mate?

Sirius: NO!

James: Huh?

Sirius: Drops book NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lupin: I'll read.

**Harry released Neville, though he was unaware of doing so. He was jumping down the steps again, pulling out his wand, as Dumbledore too, turned toward the dais.**

**It seemed to take ages for Sirius to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.**

Everyone: WHAT?

Jenn: NO Not Siri! Runs over and hugs Sirius

Sirius: Smirks at James

James: So what! I get Lily Evans!

Sirius: You wish!

Lupin: Wonder what Harry's reaction will be?

**Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his Godfathers face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell into place. **

"**SIRIUS!" Harry yelled. "SIRIUS!" **

**Harry would pull him back out... But as he reached the ground and sprinted towards the dais, Lupin grabbed Harry around the chest holding him back. "There's nothing you can do Harry-." **

"**Get him, save him; he's only just gone through!"**

"**-It's too late Harry."**

Sirius: Why couldn't you die Moony?

Lupin: HEY!  
Sirius: What? He misses me more!

**James skips to page 726**

**It was too much. Harry turned around shaking with rage, "I don't want to talk about how I feel alright?"  
"Harry suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human -." **

**THEN – I – DON'T – WANT – TO – BE – HUMAN!" Harry roared and he seized the delicate silver instrument from the spindle legged table beside him and flung it across the room; it shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, "_Really!"_**

Sirius: Okay that kids demolishing Dumbledore's office! He has anger issues!

James: He was destroying it over you Sirius!

Sirius: I'm flattered, but why?

James: Because He _loves_ you!

Sirius: EWWWWW

James: Not like that you idiot Smacks Sirius

Sirius: Oww stop smacking me

"**I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANY MORE –."**

**He seized the table on which the silver instrument had stood and threw that, too. It broke apart on the floor and the legs rolled in different directions.**

Sirius: Spaz

James: Smacks Sirius

Sirius: Oww

James: That's my son you're talking about! Besides, it's you he's upset about

Sirius: So

James: He loves you Sirius, get it?

Sirius: Nope

James: You're hopeless

Sirius: Smacks James

"**You do care" Said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."**

"**I – DON'T!" Harry screamed so loudly that he felt his throat might tear, and for a second he wanted to rush at Dumbledore and break him too; shatter that calm old face, shake him, hurt him, make him feel some tiny part of the horror inside himself.**

"**Oh yes you so," Said Dumbledore, still more calmly. "You have lost your mother, your father, and the closest thing to a parent you have ever known. Of course you care"**

Remus: He should have let me handle it.

Sirius: Why?

Remus: Remember the third book?

Sirius: Yah

Remus: Well it's obvious he trusts me.

Sirius: He trusts me too!

Remus: Yah but you're dead.

Sirius: pouts

"**YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!" Harry roared "YOU – STANDING THERE – YOU --." But words were no longer enough, smashing things was no more help; he wanted to run, he wanted to keep running and never look back, he wanted to be somewhere he could not see the clear blue eyes staring at him, that hatefully old calm face. He turned on his heel and ran to the door, seized the doorknob again and wrenched at it.**

**But the door would not open.**

**Harry turned to Dumbledore.**

"**Let me out," He said. He was shaking from head to foot. **

"**No," said Dumbledore simply.**

**For a few seconds they stared at each other.**

"**Let me out," Harry said again**

"**No," Dumbledore repeated. **

"**If you don't let me out – if you keep me in here – if you don't..."**

"**By all means continue destroying my possessions," Said Dumbledore serenely. "I daresay I have too many." **

James: Leans back on chair and puts feet on the table Well, we've missed Potions, Defense against the Dark Arts, and Transfiguration.

Remus: OH GOD!

Sirius: Get over it Moony.

Remus:Gets up and runs out

Sirius: He's mental

Jenn: You think everyone is mental Sirius

Sirius: HEY! Well... it is true

Jenn: Rolls eyes so what should we do now? Should we go to class?

James: You can go

Jenn: And you're not?

James: Well I am James Potter

Jenn: Lily will be there

James: I'M IN!

Everyone besides James: Rolls eyes and gets up

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**So did ya all like it? Well if ya didn't too bad, cause I do! Well c ya all around!**

**Oh and Review if ya can!  
**

**Jenn Black **


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